Cleansed in the pool

Good morning all. I feel so much better today after swimming. When I have a bad day, or two, the minute I go underwater in the pool, I feel cleansed, like everything is going to be okay, and alive again. Like all the bad just washes off of me. And then after my swim I feel so refreshed.

I did well last night just sitting with things and letting it all be okay. When I went to bed, I felt a lot more confident that I would feel well enough today to handle things. I DID feel sick this morning, still feel sick almost every morning (no I am not pregnant…unless I have been pregnant for the last two years, because that is how long I have felt sick almost every morning). But I could think rationally about the sickness today. It wasn’t TOO bad.

• Prayer: My maternal grandfather is basically dying of cancer. He has fought prostate cancer for seven years and a few years ago it spread to his bones. He was doing fine, on and off, but then we recently learned it has spread more and is stage V now. I am not praying that he will live; I don’t think it really works like that, especially not for old people. I think God is really there to give us strength to fight through hard things in life, and to help us have peace in our hearts. So I am praying that he has peace in his heart and to ease his fear. Especially also praying for my grandma to have the same: strength, and to feel like God is with her to ease her pain. They are very, very devoted to each other. Also, B’s uncle just had a relapse with his fight against leukemia. {Actually, really his mother’s cousin. B is half-Filipino, on his mom’s side, and it is a term of respect to call ALL your elders ‘Uncle’ or ‘Auntie’ regardless of actual extended family relationship in the Filipino culture. Totally got yelled at once for this, it was kind of funny. I called someone by their first name and got my lesson handed to me!} So I am praying for Uncle too, for strength for him and his family. I don’t know, actually I DO pray for him to beat it, but for grandparents I feel like it is different somehow. Old age and death go together and are a part of life. I don’t want to ask too much, but I want my grandparents to feel strength, comfort, and peace in their hearts.

Have been thinking about Tina’s post on blogging. I thought it involved too much thinking at first but then I decided upon reflection that I do think a lot about my posts for other people and how maybe I post too much. So I decided today that I LIKE posting and I don’t care if it is too much because it helps me reflect and connect in a positive way.

B will arrive here tonight. He, as usual, is so excited to see me that he drove through half the night to get here as quickly as possible. 🙂 I had to convince him to stop and sleep because I was worried about him getting tired.