Missing Colorado and What’s Next

I had a great Christmas trip to Colorado. I nearly felt like my old self again. I had a few jitters but overall the trip went wonderfully. Now I am back in Colorado and feeling lonely and homesick, although I’m doing better today than yesterday.

I’m always in a conundrum (one of my favorite words) because I want to show you guys more pictures but I want my blog to remain anonymous too.

We flew into Denver on Saturday the 22nd. On Sunday we went to the Van Gogh exhibit at the Denver Art Museum. I feel like my anemia is getting a little better and I had more energy there. I really enjoyed the exhibit even though I got a little exhausted towards the end from walking around so much. They had a lot of his earlier works that I had never seen and you were able to really see the evolution of his painting style. I love art museums. Except for when they have exhibitions, the Denver Art Museum isn’t my favorite, but this exhibit was awesome.

On Christmas Eve we had a seafood boil, perhaps a new tradition we are starting! It was delicious! My dad bought crab, shrimp, mussels, sausage, corn, and potatoes. The crab legs were the best. I hadn’t had those for years. We got a plastic tablecloth and bibs and just ate all over the table. B and I stayed with my parents, obviously, and my two sisters were there every day during our stay. My grandma was also in town and staying with my parents. For the seafood boil, my uncle and his family also came over (from my dad’s side). Since I was little, we have always spent Christmas Eve with my dad’s family and Christmas day with my mom’s family. That’s always how I imagined doing it with my own family, but B’s parents live in Washington state and mine live in Colorado, so we have to split the holidays. If I had it my way we would always spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine! That’s what we did the last two years. But of course that wouldn’t be fair. One of the unfortunate compromises of marriage. Next year we will most likely spend Christmas with his family. It will be my first Christmas not with my family in my whole life. Maybe I can convince his family to come to Denver for Christmas! They don’t have any extended family in Washington anyways, it’s just them. That would be fun. Our families really like each other. We want to buy a house next year, so I also look forward to potentially hosting Thanksgiving here. Well, I would also be really nervous about that because I’ve never cooked my own turkey before! We’ll see.

All of the time spent with family made me realize how much I want to live near them and at least be more social here in California. I always thought of myself as someone who likes to be alone, but I realized in the past few months that that’s not really the case as much as I thought. I am definitely an introvert, but that means that I de-stress by being alone, and just need more alone time than an extrovert, but not that I don’t like people. Everyone needs social time and companionship, and I am not getting enough of that in my life. I get some social anxiety, but every time I am around people, I feel so good! I always wonder later what I was anxious about.

Last night, I joined several groups on meetupcom. I joined two women’s groups for women in their 20s and 30s in my area, and one dog-related group. I really plan to go to some of the events to make some friends. They have coffee dates, movie nights, dinners, etc. Oh, and I also joined a book club! I’m really excited about that one. I’m just so isolated and really need to meet people, which is hard to do when you’re not in school anymore and you don’t have a job. I also have a friend that my husband works with that I want to invite to do more things. Our social life together has gone down quite a bit because my husband got promoted, which is great!, but now all of our old friends work for him so he isn’t really allowed to hang out with them because it’s not appropriate. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with them! So I want to invite this girl he works with to go to a movie or something just me and her. I sound so pathetic right now, but this is something I really need to work on. I am also in therapy group right now that is only women and I have made one friend there that I want to try to hang out with.

Tonight we are going to meet up with B’s best friend in San Marino because he’s in town so I am excited for that. I also get to bring my dog to play with his dog. They just love each other so that will be fun! I did miss my dog while I was in Colorado. He had to stay here at the boarding kennel. I found out they only let him out two times a day, so I am going to try to find a different one for the next time I travel because that made me angry. I want him to be well taken care of.


Upcoming plans:

  • I am all signed up to take a microbiology class in March to fulfill a prerequisite I need to enter a Master’s program in nursing. I’m really excited about it. I finally decided that it was worth spending money on myself to pursue this dream. I’m still scared I will fail. But I would rather try than regret never trying. That type of regret is the worst.
  • B will be traveling a lot for work in January and February. I don’t want to be left here all by myself, so I am trying to plan some things. I want to go to Colorado again this spring so I am going to plan a trip in either February or March. Also my dad and my sister are going to San Diego to do some work on the house there in late January or February so I am planning to go down and stay with them during that time. I really had fun with my sisters over this recent trip. The one I have been estranged with for two years… we are slowly starting to talk more and more.
  • B and I are planning a trip to Santa Barbara sometime in the next couple of months. I can’t wait. I have been wanting to go visit the central coast for a long time.
  • I am going to begin volunteering at the local animal shelter in February. Still need to get my anxiety and agoraphobia under control, but I am determined to so I can do all of these things.

The best Christmas gifts I got? I got a pug shirt, pug calendar, and pug socks! I also got Rachael Ray’s new cookbook called “My Year in Meals”. It’s a really beautiful book and I can’t wait to try new recipes from it.


How important is social time to you? How have you made new friends as an adult?


One thought on “Missing Colorado and What’s Next

  1. Hi there – Happy New Year! You don’t sound pathetic at all – just reasonable. I have to fight for my alone time and if I don’t get it, I am really cranky. But I think we all need a little of both to varying degrees.

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