Today is a hard day. I get in these holes. Just laying around, eating, sleeping. I need to go up on my medicine like I am supposed to. I am so scared of that but I am starting it again tonight. I am going to forgive myself, move on, and use my DBT skills, especially getting outside, taking a shower, and eating a healthy salad for dinner tonight that I have already pre-prepared. And resting a lot, because my body is tired and I have to take better care of it. The beginning is always the hardest, but I am starting over. This feeling sucks but I think taking this medicine tonight will help it pass and I will swim in the morning and follow the plan I wrote down for myself.