I am in a funk like I haven’t been for a long time. I usually go never more than two days without swimming and usually not more than one, but I haven’t been to the pool since Wednesday. I have just been lying around binging and being on my computer for the last four days and I just can’t seem to do anything. I am so disappointed in how this weekend has turned out and I can’t stand being in this place for another minute! I feel so gross.
B is in Las Vegas until tomorrow for his bachelor party and I just feel annoyed that he went for 4 NIGHTS, which even he is saying is waaay too long. I don’t want to seem so needy but I was just in a bad place last week from really not feeling well and it was a bad time for him to be gone so long. When he went on a work trip for 5 days last month I did perfectly fine, but I am just sick of being alone this week. I thought I was going to do something with some friends this weekend they all ended up going to Vegas too for a concert. We had talked earlier about going wine tasting in Temecula as some kind of psuedo-bachelorette party for me but last weekend I asked B what was going on with that (he works with these girls) and he said “oh they are all going to Vegas too for a concert” – not with him but by themselves obviously and I just feel like I was just left here and nobody told me. It’s weird.
I just feel so gross and I want to be in a healthy place right before my wedding. I don’t want to ride the bus to the pool because I have not been feeling well and I get anxious about going on the bus and getting stranded somewhere when I’m not feeling well so I’ve just been stuck here. At least he is getting home tomorrow and I have to MAKE myself go swim in the morning because I know that’s the only thing that will get me out of this, it’s the only thing that ever does. I just want some kind of opportunity to come my way, boredom is the worst thing in the world for me. I hate when people complain they are busy, I would give anything to be busy and have something to put my restless energy into and feel like I am accomplishing something, even if it’s just making money!