Great news: I g…

Great news: I got a new computer!

Which means that my dictation program is working again. My old computer wasn’t quite dead yet but it was having all kinds of problems and after work yesterday B surprised me when he picked me up with a new computer on the passenger seat. He actually got it on sale at Best Buy because apparently they’re going out of business?
It’s the exact same as my old computer, except the newer version. An HP Pavilion with the largest screen they make (and the largest keyboard). This means that I can blog again! AND I am determined to start working on the novel I was writing last summer again. I can’t think of many professions/careers that I can do without accommodations. And some of them I couldn’t even do with reasonable accommodations. Writing is an exception to all of that. It’s frustrating to not be able to type but I am so thankful for this dictation program.

I joined a therapy group and this week was my first week. I will be going every Tuesday night from 4 to 5:30 PM. I went yesterday. I wrote the bus there and it worked out fine, even though my feet hurt today from walking too much from stop to stop. It’s worth it to have something to do.

To update on everything …
1.) I am now really liking our townhouse that we moved into in March. I like the neighborhood, it’s closer to the bus stop, I love the gardening around here, I love just having more space. Still some worries about the bugs but it’s all been okay so far. Knock on wood. Did I mention though that a few weeks ago I found TWO black widows at the house??? SO scary! Took me a while to get over that, I’m still not really over it. I couldn’t sleep for a while because I found one… Get this… In our bedroom! The other one was actually on the front porch. I saw it running towards the door and then it hit my bug spray barrier and died right before my eyes. I let it sit out there for a while and then one day I was looking at it and I thought to myself, “Wow that really looks like a black widow”. So I turned it over with a stick and it had the absolute telltale red hourglass on its stomach. Then I thought about how a few days before I had vacuumed up a big black spider with a huge butt that looked exactly like that one! In shock I realized that the other black spider in my room was a black widow too! I hope hope hope there’s no more!

2.) B got a lateral promotion and is now working normal hours Monday through Friday (instead of the night shift Sunday through Wednesday). At first I kind of had mixed feelings about it because who was going to take me to the pool?! But I decided that I could ride the bus. I was anxious about that at first but once I started doing it, it’s become really easy and actually kind of nice to have the independence to get out on my own. Sometimes getting over fears is just making yourself do them once and then you realize that you can do it. I like having him home to put to eat dinner with and it’s nice to feel like normal adults with a normal schedule. I was turning to get so scared being home alone at night and now it’s nice to just have someone here. Not scared like about a burglar or any thing but scared of my mind and of myself and having to be alone. So this is working out really well and I like it. I’m thankful for it and I’m thankful that he’s doing so well at work and is being recognized for the good job he does.

3.) Our wedding is in six weeks! I finally got an officiant last week, really was behind on that one! I keep thinking more and more about how I wish we could elope and have a private ceremony. But it’s too late for that now and at least B is excited about how we are doing it. My mom is driving me nuts about everything. I am going for my first dress fitting tomorrow. Kind of scared because I feel like I didn’t get the dress I really wanted. I was just rushed, and I hope when I see it I at least feel okay about it. I am excited to get my hair and makeup done. And I know the dress will look great.
l want to start devoting some of the afternoon to writing every day. I want to just stop worrying about how I don’t work, after all these years (sorry I’m crying now). I get so discouraged with trying to apply for jobs and trying to struggle with this nerve disorder that causes me so many limitations with the level of disability it brings. I am SO ready to just do something but every time I think of what I would want to do I think about how it would be so hard for me with my body being like this and I just give up. I should just focus on what I can do for now and then just pick something and go with it. Come on, I can do it. At this one to be proud of myself for being brave.

Do you have any scary spider stories?

Random, but yes I realize I use commas appropriately. Who cares. This is all blog, and that’s how my thoughts run.


4 thoughts on “Great news: I g…

  1. from what I hear, most of things are working out nicely! Everything until the very last paragraph reads like it worked out for the best. I understand that it can be really frustrating and depressing to not be able to do all the things that you want, but think about how far you have come and how many more things you can do now than the last time you wrote about it on the blog. This should count for something, right? I am very proud of your progress, so you should be even more proud of yourself 🙂

  2. I fear spiders…that’s why I was so happy to move away from my parents house in suburbia. The spiders there were ridiculous!

    6 weeks? Amazing how time flies. I’m so happy for you my friend.

    PS: Riding the bus in this state is no easy feat – so congrats to you for figuring the whole system out!

    • Haha thanks about the buses. San Bernardino county Omnitrans actually has a pretty nice system except that they don’t always run on time. Most annoying is when they come EARLY! and then you just get missed!

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