Wonderful smell of the Spring flowers wafting in my window right now. 🙂 I DESPERATELY want and need and will start enjoying this Spring and living my life again.

I was doing so good when we first moved here not binging but then I got in a bad pattern again. Why is it so hard to get out of? I just want to be strong like I used to be fall 2009 when I was in my DBT class and actually used my skills and felt present again, despite the hard things. I just want to give that a chance and make it the most important thing and give myself someone slack.

I just want to start over tomorrow but I feel so gross. I keep getting off track with my swimming which I know is the most important thing for me.

Last weekend we went to San Diego to see my parents who were there on vacation for the weekend. I was so fun and it was also a little stressful but I did so well and ate so healthy and felt good when we came home, only to let the restlessness descend on me again. I wish I could show pictures! Something is wrong with my camera where it won’t upload the photos onto any of our THREE laptops.

This isn’t my picture, but I saw this!

Anyway though, I went on lots of little walks and spent time outside. The weather was beautiful! We went to Balboa Park on Friday and then on Saturday morning we went whale watching and I actually saw a gray whale! Well, we actually saw THREE whales! Also a ton of dolphins (both bottlenose and the common dolphin), and sea lions (my favorite).

Any tips for getting out of a funk/hole like this? I’m so frustrated. 😦 I just want to do better. Right now I’m challenging myself to no binging +behaviors for the next 5 days. Just five days. Then I know I will have momentum again and feel well again to keep going. Tomorrow, Wednesday, will be the hardest day. Maybe Thursday too. I just want to put this challenge out there. Any encouragement to start out fresh tomorrow morning and keep my chin up would help me. I don’t ask for help much but I need somebody, anybody, to encourage me.

Have you ever seen a whale? What is the coolest animal you’ve ever seen in the wild? I think for me it would be a mother moose and her calf in Rocky Mountain National Park when I was a 12 or so. It was so amazing.


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