Well, we are all moved in. Last week at the beginning it was quite an adjustment for me. Don’t feel that the landlord cleaned properly so I had to spend literally days of hours and hours of cleaning. Sort of like the politics, especially ants, getting into the house. I was really frustrated about some holes in the floor boards and gap in the sliding glass doors not sealing properly. Fortunately my dad is a carpenter and now owns his own hardware store, so I grew up being able to do these handy things and am hoping to be able to caulk the floorboards, etc, myself.
I was going to write a post about the crisis a few days ago but now I’m feeling more comfortable, at least until the summer when there are hints outside. I am just going to spray all the parameters with pump products. This townhouse is just a little older than our last apartment but it’s still nice and I love the landscaping around here and being able to have two floors. Feels like we actually have a house together now! I am liking it overall. Plus this is just going to force me to clean really well, which will keep me busy and that will be nice. 😉 I made a good cleaning schedule!
On Tuesday I wrote an e-mail to the landlord, kind of angry because the place wasn’t nasty but it obviously wasn’t cleaned to meet standards i.e. the toilets were dirty, there was toothpaste in the sinks, and some crumbs in the fridge, etc. Is just crazy because if you rent with an apartment company (ie. Not private landlord), you have to clean SO much when you move out, all those little things, or they’ll charge you. I spent a whole day cleaning our two-bedroom apartment before we moved out. Now that I look back on it, it’s really not that big of a deal and I wish I would have only written about the few maintenance issues in my e-mail, because now I feel like it’s kind of backfiring on me. That’s really stressing me out today. It’s just a hard line for me to walk between standing up for myself and being kind of passive-aggressive. I tried really hard to be nice in my e-mail and just explain, I guess it wasn’t a good idea? At the time it felt really relieving though, to just express my feelings. I guess I will call him today and explained that it’s all okay now, I just need the faucet fixed in the kitchen sink. I have just had bad experiences with private landlords in the past, so I was kind of wary. I just hope I didn’t start everything off on the wrong foot. So far though, I’m glad that we moved here now.
I am, as always, struggling with shame all the time. I feel like it really affects B and my relationship.
However, I am feeling so much more comfortable around eating, and a lot more peace with myself lately. And strength since moving in here, like I know what I want. I’m also super enjoying the flowers here and the wonderful smell of them blowing into the living room from the sliding glass door when I leave it open. I nerve pain in my feet is feeling so much better lately, knock on wood. I’m wondering if it’s from the acupuncture treatment I had: that means I should probably go back.
I’m so happy that it’s Spring!
Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. – Fyodor Dostoevsky