Hello everyone. Well, for a short recap of my weekend: it went pretty well. I just stayed really strong and win into it with a positive attitude and didn’t let much get to me. We had some really fun times. However, at the end of B’s mom’s visit, I was more than ready for it to be over. Thank goodness she only came for four days instead of the eight she originally wanted to! The only stuff that started to get to me was his mom being pretty overbearing on the wedding planning, but since she isn’t giving us any money for the wedding (which I am now totally seeing as a blessing in disguise) I felt confident and totally in my place that we don’t have to do things her way and I can do everything my way! Somehow I came out of the weekend feeling a lot less stressed about the wedding overall, especially about the budget. I just know it’s going to be a really fun time and it doesn’t have to be perfect. She was so concerned with how everything is going to look to other people that it really made me see how unimportant that is. I became stubborn in ignoring her comments about planning, and that attitude of stubbornness forced me into deciding to do only what I want to do, and that somehow made me worry less about everybody else. I don’t know how that worked out but it’s great! J
Also, B reinforced to me that I always come first with him, and I just made me feel a lot more confident. I think that when I am around overbearing people, since I am totally the opposite of that, I just lose all of my confidence and then I start getting resentful about that being taken away from me. I just have to fake it till you make it with confidence, and do the best I can to be as nice as I can, and don’t worry about other people misunderstanding me so much. I want everyone to see me as an adult, and that means seeing myself as an adult, which I am finally starting to do. Again, I appreciate my own parents so much for not being overbearing at all!
So what did we do? We went to Palms Springs on Thursday. I had never been there and it was an interesting experience, fun but interesting. 😉 We also went to a casino there. I had only been to a casino one time in my life when I was 10 and we were driving through Las Vegas on a family vacation. My dad took me inside so I could see what it looked like and then we got kicked out since I was obviously under 18. We also all three went to the gym/pool on Thursday and Friday and that was really awesome too. One of the reasons for B’s mom coming down here was so that we could go to this scrapbooking expo to get some supplies and ideas for stuff to make for the wedding. We ended up not going because I was in so much pain and couldn’t fathom walking around the giant convention center. I felt really bad about that but the flare-up happened because I had over exerted myself cleaning on Wednesday before she got here and because we spent so much time keeping our dogs apart in this little apartment because her dog wanted to attack my puppy who desperately wanted to play with it. When my dog pulls on his leash like that or I have to keep picking him up and carry him away, it causes me so much pain!
On Friday it was unseasonably cold here so we ended up just going to see a movie. We saw “The Way” starring Martin Sheen and directed by Emilio Estevez. Awesome movie, I really recommend it. It’s about a man who’s his son dies on the route of a pilgrimage across northern Spain that has been done for hundreds of years to a church where the pilgrims believe the remains of St. James are interred. It was a really cool movie. I had never heard of this famous pilgrimage and I learned a lot. It was also a beautiful story.
Then Saturday we drove into the San Gabriel Mountains and then drove around an historic town near here and went to the dog park. It was so funny because after the dogs fighting all the time in the apartment, they only played with each other at the dog park and ignored the other dogs. I love the dog park!
Yeah, so that was my weekend. Yesterday I volunteered again and I just marvel at how good this volunteer job has been for me. It’s giving me so much strength and patience. And confidence in the next step in my plan, with the patience to get there.
Hope you are all well!