Trying to Channel Restless Energy

I have decided lately to stop putting so much pressure on myself to have blog “topics” and to just write.

I am so restless, but often I can’t concentrate and can’t pursue things to effectively utilize that restless energy. Very frustrating. For instance, I want to write a manual thing on practical uses for DBT, but I can’t concentrate to start right now! A lot of my stagnant energy with writing comes from having to dictate instead of type. I can type so much faster and for some reason dictating gets exhausting. I am glad I have that option, but sometimes I don’t do anything because I wish I could type.

I need TWO MORE letters of recommendation before I turn in my Master’s recommendation and I don’t know who to get it from. This is always, always my Achilles heel with applications and is the thing that most often causes me to just give up. But I CAN’T give up anymore! So I don’t know what to do about that…I have two people in mind if I would JUST ASK them! I just don’t feel that comfortable about it, and one I really think will be too busy (an old professor). Ugh, might as well just try, right? Why do I have so much trouble with these things? I am too shy and get too anxious. I need need need to do this because it’s the only way to move forward and get to do this thing I am really excited about that would make my life move forward again!Β  This is one way to use restless energy, but I am getting all worked up just thinking about it right now!

I wanted to get a letter from my new volunteer job, since that directly involves teaching through tutoring, but I still haven’t started that yet. I want to get this application in by the end of September (andΒ  have the recommendations pending), so that wouldn’t work. I did get my TB test done and I am going to get it read tomorrow. Then I can send them the results and get started the next week. It’s funny, just having it there has been such a relief and comfort. It’s like just knowing I have plans and something set up helps me not be in a such a rush. I don’t even care if I start in a month at this point, just knowing I will and can start soon has made a huge difference for me.

Once I get this application in and hear back for that, then I will really be able to relax and feel like a normal person again! Well, as normal as can be for me! πŸ˜‰ I am SO looking forward to that excitement and calm and relief.

I hope that I will be able to move forward and channel this restless energy!


5 thoughts on “Trying to Channel Restless Energy

  1. Story of my life. Thinking of what I want and need to do – but sitting still and frozen. Literally. I think just take one thing at a time. Focus on asking a reference, then the next. I used to worry about asking references SO much! Why would they help me? They barely know me…they wouldn’t have anything good to say, etc. etc…but you know what?? They really DON’T care! They do this stuff all the time – so trust me, it will be okay πŸ™‚

    What’s your manual on ?! For someone or yourself?

  2. i feel you on this. i have my applications for transfer done but i just can’t seem to send them. i’m only applying to two schools too. i’m a bit scared as to what happens if i don’t get in. we haven’t exactly discussed that…. asking for letters of rec is hard and can be awkward- but with the right perosn there’s no need to be afraid! i had to ask teachers and describe to them why i was trying to transfer universities… not a fun time. anyway, good luck with this!

  3. Don’t give up on the LORs! My husband and I are both grad students, and agreed asking for LORs was the hardest part of applying–so you are NOT alone when you have a hard time with it. It’s just one of those awkward rights of passage πŸ™‚

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