I have decided lately to stop putting so much pressure on myself to have blog “topics” and to just write.
I am so restless, but often I can’t concentrate and can’t pursue things to effectively utilize that restless energy. Very frustrating. For instance, I want to write a manual thing on practical uses for DBT, but I can’t concentrate to start right now! A lot of my stagnant energy with writing comes from having to dictate instead of type. I can type so much faster and for some reason dictating gets exhausting. I am glad I have that option, but sometimes I don’t do anything because I wish I could type.
I need TWO MORE letters of recommendation before I turn in my Master’s recommendation and I don’t know who to get it from. This is always, always my Achilles heel with applications and is the thing that most often causes me to just give up. But I CAN’T give up anymore! So I don’t know what to do about that…I have two people in mind if I would JUST ASK them! I just don’t feel that comfortable about it, and one I really think will be too busy (an old professor). Ugh, might as well just try, right? Why do I have so much trouble with these things? I am too shy and get too anxious. I need need need to do this because it’s the only way to move forward and get to do this thing I am really excited about that would make my life move forward again! This is one way to use restless energy, but I am getting all worked up just thinking about it right now!
I wanted to get a letter from my new volunteer job, since that directly involves teaching through tutoring, but I still haven’t started that yet. I want to get this application in by the end of September (and have the recommendations pending), so that wouldn’t work. I did get my TB test done and I am going to get it read tomorrow. Then I can send them the results and get started the next week. It’s funny, just having it there has been such a relief and comfort. It’s like just knowing I have plans and something set up helps me not be in a such a rush. I don’t even care if I start in a month at this point, just knowing I will and can start soon has made a huge difference for me.
Once I get this application in and hear back for that, then I will really be able to relax and feel like a normal person again! Well, as normal as can be for me! 😉 I am SO looking forward to that excitement and calm and relief.
I hope that I will be able to move forward and channel this restless energy!