When You Need to Re–Accept
There is a DBT skill called Radical Acceptance. Sometimes you can change a situation, but sometimes you just..can’t. In this situation, you just have to radically accept the problem with all of your being and move on in a way that just lets it be there, letting yourself make the best of it. This is hard to do, but in my opinion it’s one of the best skills, and one of the ones that has helped me a lot.
At some point, with my nerve disorder, I was able to do this at least at some level. Then this summer I got a lot more frustrated again. I’m not really sure why. I think in the summer I feel a lot more agitated in general because I have more energy with the longer days and such. So that contributes because I can’t get out all of my energy through activity like I want to do. I guess I periodically just get frustrated again, every few months or so. I just hate this situation so much and I’m just ready for it to be OVER. Also, I wish I knew what was going on! That would make acceptance A LOT easier!
My dog contributes too because I want to go on more walks by myself (since he pulls me) but I feel guilty about doing that, so that makes me feel more trapped in here and then I focus more on what I can’t do. Now that I think about it, that is a huge contributor. When he was smaller, we used to go on lots of walks together. But at some point in the last month he really started pulling on the leash, despite my attempts to teach him to heel, and it really, really hurts me. B and I are checking into getting a dog trainer for at least a couple of sessions, though the expense of that is annoying. Overall though, I think it would be a very worthwhile investment. I just want to find the right one that can tell me something other than what I can find in a youtube video, which are the types of things I have tried on countless dogs I or my family has had with no success. B also says that I need to be okay with leaving him on the apartment go on walks if it means taking better care of myself, which actually later (and I KNOW this) enables me to take better care of both B and my puppy (through taking care of myself). So I need to be okay with doing that. This also won’t last forever because we are planning to at least rent a house next spring and then he will have a yard that we can play fetch in. We also started taking him to the dog park every day on our three-day weekends so I just need to stop feeling so guilty and do what I need to do to help my restlessness (my short walks).
I need to re-accept that I have this nerve disorder, but that I am NOT as trapped as I think I am. I can’t do everything I want to do, but I DO have choices.
What do you need to accept? Does it help you to just DO IT and then move on?