Right now my plan is to take life in high-day increments. I am disappointed in myself for this morning, because I had a chance that wasn’t THAT hard to do well and I blew it, but I have another chance this afternoon. And I am going to make it happen.
You see, I am not very happy about my body right now. But you know what? I can’t make a huge change to it right now, this very second, but I can make small choices that move towards a more positive place. At the very least, I won’t look worse! And after knowing that, I have to accept what I look like right now and focus on the positive things each half-day. Then I know I will see more positive changes in myself and eventually look better too. But focusing on that part and not just focusing on the little things I can do each moment makes me rush. Then I get overwhelmed, and nothing works then.
I really want to change my look (not body-related, like hair or something), but I don’t know what to do. I just want kind of a boost in confidence that you can only get through a new outfit or haircut sometimes. 😉 I actually really want to get hair extensions because I really miss my long hair, but I’m pretttty sure those aren’t compatible with daily lap swimming!
So I am going to go get in the shower and try to get dressed and look nice, because I haven’t been wanting to get dressed any more lately. And we are driving to go do something with friends later this afternoon. I was going to back out today but I will feel better if I go. It’s not an activity I am very excited about, but I am going for the “fellowship”. My puppy is at the vet all day today for neuter surgery so it’s also kind of nice to not have to worry about him for the day!
At the end of the day, if all I have to feel proud of right now is winning these little half-day battles, that is enough for me. Then in about a week I start my volunteer job —> Mon, Tues, and Weds 2-6pm! Then I will turn in my Master’s degree application. I AM on my way! I just still have to win the half-day battles no matter what I am doing! It is never worth it to give that up.