WE FINALLY SENT IN OUR OFFICIAL CONTRACT TODAY FOR THE VENUE! June 23, 2012! 🙂 We are going to have a blue, white, and yellow wildflower Colorado mountain wedding!
I feel like overall I am mostly doing okay not stressing about the wedding and wedding planning (shocker), but there are a few things…
- Standing up there in front of all those people. I am fairly shy, and really private. I like to share most moments with just B and me. I get borderline angry sometimes that I HAVE to have this big wedding in front of all these people. I wish we could just have a private ceremony and reception. This is one thing I am really getting sick over.
- My sister – We haven’t spoken since early February. I have two sisters. I am the oldest. It’s the middle sister. The youngest and I are fine. This brings up so many issues. Is she going to be a bridesmaid? Is she even going to be there? I don’t even know if I want her to be a bridesmaid anymore. She has never been that supportive of anyone’s relationships (not just me). She is not the romantic sort and she borders on going the other way too much. I just don’t have that much of a problem if she isn’t a part of the wedding party. But I think I would like her to be there. I just get so many family issues coming up. anyway I have a great and mostly supportive family, but I overall feel so much shame around them. I am trying to let myself be angry at her. I have trouble feeling anger because it makes me feel guilty. But I AM angry at her. I totally see her side, but I am angry too. I NEED that to be okay. This is the other thing I am getting absolutely sick over.
- The weather (who with an outdoor wedding doesn’t worry about that). I comfort myself thinking about how in many cultures, rain is considered a sign of good luck, as it symbolizes cleansing away the past and a new beginning. So there will be luck either way.
- Worrying about if the wedding will be “good enough” for the guests.
- Having enough time for pictures.
The best hope for me is to just go with the flow and focus on myself.
This means not worrying about what other people think. Deciding for myself how I want my ceremony to go, which probably means just sucking up the ceremony part (it’s probably one of those things where you look back and are glad you did it, just for the memories of the traditional stuff – so I need to focus on that). And just continuing not to worry about my sister. I wish we could just have a best man and a maid-of-honor (I don’t really get these huge wedding parties) but B already asked 4 people and I had to stop him at 4 (he has too many friends 😉 )!
I am obviously going to have to talk to my sister before the holidays as we are going home for Christmas. She has already avoided two of my phone calls and an e-mail explaining things, but I haven’t tried to contact her since March. And she left San Diego early so she didn’t have to be there when I went down to visit the whole family when they were on vacation. I am thinking I will just call her before Christmas so it’s not awkward and to make sure we have a mutual agreement to both be there so we don’t hurt my mom.
Anyway, what AM I excited about for the wedding?
- MY DRESS! I love wearing a pretty dress.
- Getting married, duh. Exchanging vows. Seeing B with a wedding ring on his finger.
- The cake cutting (my fave).
- The honeymoon. Really excited to go to some sort of different country.
What did you worry about before you got married? If you are not married, what do you, or would you, worry about? What’s your favorite part of a wedding?