Recent ways I have added joy:
- Spent a lot of time last week with friends (even though we spent way too much money!)
- After first worrying that a) I was intruding and b) I wouldn’t be a walk around very well, I decided to go to a concert at THE Greek Theater in LA with B and his brother (who was in town visiting for the weekend from Seattle). It was awesome. Awesome venue, awesome acoustics/sound. I’m so glad I didn’t pass up the opportunity to see this iconic venue.
- And now for the more important ones: I have let myself just then I watch TV, I have written in my wife’s journal, use the ABC skill, let myself read, and let myself go to bed early. I have told myself over and over that nothing else matters except that I use my DBT skills.
What is the ABC skill?
A BC stands for Accumulate Positives, Build Mastery, Cope Ahead. It feels incredibly empowering to make small steps to set things up for yourself.
You have to remember to be patient as well, but this skill really works for me. Accumulate Positives refers to the concept of adding joy. Building mastery And finally, coping ahead is the process of setting up small steps to reach her goals and accomplish things. It can also mean setting up a plan to cope with a challenge in your future. Obviously, I kind of modify these skills regarding what they mean to me.
- I am focusing one.second.at.a.time on setting up my future career. I talk about this all the time on her, and it probably seems like I change my mind all the time (imagine how B feels!), But really I am just modifying things all the time when I run into obstacles. Most of these nowadays have to do with my nerve disorder and it’s extremely frustrating. Right now I have chosen a program that I am in the process as we speak of applying to. It’s going in a totally different correction for me, and I think you and everyone else will be really surprised when I finally reveal it. The only thing holding me back rain now is being frustrated that I will have to do it online because I can’t get over to the campus and do the campus-based program like I want to. I don’t want to do it online because I want to get out of the house, but also because I am worried about my arms giving out. But I guess I can take my time, maybe look into disability resources, and take longer in the program if I need to. I just have to look at each step as using the ABC skill. I literally go crazy here some days. I just want to be somewhere, Schedule, get out of the house and escape the thoughts in my head by being absorbed and engaged in something that is fulfilling to me. This is just the first step in getting there. I am starting to accept that even if I do this program and have to do it online, I will just have to hang on until I am done with it to have a job where I get out of the house. I can also take other possible steps of maybe getting me a cheap, old car so that I can get out to the coffee shop or bookstore. Or maybe still set up a volunteer opportunity, the same one with the travelers organization that I have been looking at.
- I am still writing down my 1 to 3 things I need to accomplish each day. For instance, today my normal laundry, finalizing our wedding venue contract (we finally got the final one and I am sending it in tomorrow with the deposit check!), and making as much progress as I can on this application whenever I feel worthless.
Last night, I was just crying and crying in frustration. But the thing that is going to help is to turn in this application, and brainstorm a solution to set up a schedule for myself and get me out of the house. I am so glad I wrote a blog post about this today, because it is really reiterating to me how just these few simple steps are doable and vital to me. So often I have to break it down into a phrase that I can write down on a piece of paper. I have to think of just a few simple steps or my mind grows wider and wider with all of these things to think about. So all I have to think about tonight is finishing this application is much as possible, and putting away laundry. All I have to think about tomorrow is calling the volunteer place to set up a meeting. That’s it.