Guys, yesterday was a huge success for me. I stuck to my healthy living goals. I used my DBT skills. There were definitely hard thoughts I had to battle. But that’s not what constitutes a good day. Not necessarily. A good day to me is one in which no matter what hard things I have to face, I cope positively. And yesterday I did that. Coping positively means using coping skills without hurting yourself because of the hard stuff. When you take a struggle, and turn it in on yourself, that is the definition of bad day to me. That is hellish.
Do read Oprah.com? I personally love Oprah, especially her magazine. Her website has a lot of the stuff from her magazine and similar content. I wanted to share this article with you from her website. I thought it was really interesting. It’s about how in tune you are with your feelings. Of particular interest to me was the realization that one can be too in tune with one’s feelings. I did the quiz, and the answer that came up for me was spot on.
It said that I am totally in tune with my feelings, but that I don’t do anything with my knowledge. This is so true about me. I have had so many therapists tell me, as a compliment, that I am so insightful. I think that they think a lot of their work is getting people to have insight on themselves. But this gets kind of frustrating after a while. I know always why I do everything, and what my feelings mean, but all too often I can’t use this knowledge to change anything. It’s actually kind of maddening. This is why I like dialectical behavior therapy so much, as opposed to the more common cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s about feeling your feelings, processing them, and then using the coping skills to change action, not just thoughts. It’s about finding out that sometimes even changing your actions first makes the more positive thinking patterns flow, even just forcing that, instead of the other way around.
Also, if you are too in tune with your feelings, then maybe all you think about is your feelings. This causes you to just dwell on things and not move forward with your life. You over-analyze everything. So overall we need to be somewhere in between, able to realize and process our feelings, but not dwell on them so much that we don’t go anywhere.
I am curious to see where you fall on the spectrum. Are you in tune with your feelings? (This in itself is a problem for some people where they aren’t at all.) Are you too in tune but stuck not changing your actions? Or are you able to be in tune and then make changes? That last part is where I want to be, yesterday was an example of me getting there.
Also, do you watch The View? I have started loving The View. Today they were talking about breast-feeding in public. Everyone on the show was of the opinion that women should be able to breast-feed in public. What do you think? I personally think that women should be able to as long as the cover up a little with a blanket. It’s ridiculous to make breast-feeding shameful and expect women to go hide in the bathroom just to feed their baby. My cousin had a baby last summer and when I went to visit her in Montana, she did it in public but with the blanket and I thought that was the perfect way to go.
*Any typos due to my dictation program. 😉