TOO in tune with feelings?

Guys, yesterday was a huge success for me. I stuck to my healthy living goals. I used my DBT skills. There were definitely hard thoughts I had to battle. But that’s not what constitutes a good day. Not necessarily. A good day to me is one in which no matter what hard things I have to face, I cope positively. And yesterday I did that. Coping positively means using coping skills without hurting yourself because of the hard stuff. When you take a struggle, and turn it in on yourself, that is the definition of bad day to me. That is hellish.

Do read I personally love Oprah, especially her magazine. Her website has a lot of the stuff from her magazine and similar content. I wanted to share this article with you from her website. I thought it was really interesting. It’s about how in tune you are with your feelings. Of particular interest to me was the realization that one can be too in tune with one’s feelings. I did the quiz, and the answer that came up for me was spot on.

It said that I am totally in tune with my feelings, but that I don’t do anything with my knowledge. This is so true about me. I have had so many therapists tell me, as a compliment, that I am so insightful. I think that they think a lot of their work is getting people to have insight on themselves. But this gets kind of frustrating after a while. I know always why I do everything, and what my feelings mean, but all too often I can’t use this knowledge to change anything. It’s actually kind of maddening. This is why I like dialectical behavior therapy so much, as opposed to the more common cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s about feeling your feelings, processing them, and then using the coping skills to change action, not just thoughts. It’s about finding out that sometimes even changing your actions first makes the more positive thinking patterns flow, even just forcing that, instead of the other way around.

Also, if you are too in tune with your feelings, then maybe all you think about is your feelings. This causes you to just dwell on things and not move forward with your life. You over-analyze everything. So overall we need to be somewhere in between, able to realize and process our feelings, but not dwell on them so much that we don’t go anywhere.

I am curious to see where you fall on the spectrum. Are you in tune with your feelings? (This in itself is a problem for some people where they aren’t at all.) Are you too in tune but stuck not changing your actions? Or are you able to be in tune and then make changes? That last part is where I want to be, yesterday was an example of me getting there.

Also, do you watch The View? I have started loving The View. Today they were talking about breast-feeding in public. Everyone on the show was of the opinion that women should be able to breast-feed in public. What do you think? I personally think that women should be able to as long as the cover up a little with a blanket. It’s ridiculous to make breast-feeding shameful and expect women to go hide in the bathroom just to feed their baby. My cousin had a baby last summer and when I went to visit her in Montana, she did it in public but with the blanket and I thought that was the perfect way to go.

*Any typos due to my dictation program. πŸ˜‰


8 thoughts on “TOO in tune with feelings?

  1. Your emotional response style is… “Stuck: People with this style understand their feelings but can’t get over them.”

    Not ideal, but good to know! Something for me to work on… thanks so much for sharing.

  2. Whoa…this is me to a T. 😦 I KNOW what to do – yes – but I don’t change. It’s true. I sit and whine and worry and cry….therapists say the EXACT same thing to me and that I just need the right “tools” to change my behaviors. Well – I know what the darn tools are!! But I’m not using them!! No, instead I run to the cupboards for chocolate…I’m so tired of it. I feel disgusting. I eat that stuff every night even when I don’t want it. Such a failure. And see – I’m doing it again. I’m convinced that I’ve done so much “damage” to myself and my body that it’s too late – after all these months.

    See? – So negative again!

    I am SO proud of you. You are truly inspiring πŸ™‚

    • Oh, thank you! πŸ™‚

      I think it’s just beyond just changing sometimes. It’s like people just need to escape sometimes and it’s just a hard battle to fight that. Sometimes I just stop judging myself for needing circumstances to change before I can fully be okay. That’s the only think that will help me be completely okay. However, I do think we can make small changes and get to healthiest place we can in this moment, which isn’t going to be completely recovered/well for me but I am determined to keep trying to at least improve things.

  3. i did that quiz and it said i was too rational…but i totally disagree! i tend to let my emotions run me, sometimes to a fault. i agree that DBT is soo helpful with that. hellooo distress management! it’s strange because i know i am very vulnerable to my emotions, yet i’m trying to be more in control of them and figure out healthy ways to deal with them. this was a really interesting post, and i think your idea of what a good day is is really awesome, definitely a great perspective to have on the matter! good days don’t necessarily mean that good things happened, i think a lot of the time it means you made it through unscathed!

  4. Oh man, I took this quiz and it ignited an Oprah quiz-taking BENDER! They’re mightily addicting. I came out, much to my surprise, as ‘balanced’ – woulda thought my tendency toward being unemotional would have landed me in the category of ’emotionally barren.’ Have you ever taken a Meyers Briggs personality test? It tells you quite a bit about your approach to others, to emotions and to life in general.

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