Giving up Guilt and Mt. Baldy

Some things you must read that I am thinking a lot about:

  • Rachel Wilkerson (LOVE her blog!) and how she stopped formal workouts without becoming unhealthy. I have some interesting thoughts on why this works for a lot of people and how not worrying so much about formal exercise helps me in dealing with my nerve disorder. I really thought about this after I read her post. It’s something that I have gradually come to feeling more comfortable with. The thing is, I LOVE LOVE LOVE to exercise, no joke. But I also realize that using exercise as my only coping skill for my anxiety has been too hard on my body in the past. And also, now that I can’t do that much formal exercise, I feel upset about it all the time in the sense that I miss something I love, but I also worry all the time that the limitations will affect my body and that affects my body image and leads to problems and worries about that. So over the years and months since the onset of my nerve disorder, I have had to come to see how much activity you can get in a day bustling around cleaning and stuff, and also that my gentle workouts are good for me and that they are enough, they don’t mean I am lazy or even unhealthy. My swims and short walks are what are right for me right now. I love them and I want to enjoy them. I just like that word gentle. I do wish I could work out harder a lot, but it’s not terrible what I can do, it’s good for me. And I listen to myself.
  • And even better, her post on how much healthier she is doing since she gave up feeling guilty about every little thing (her “sorry, I’m not sorry” attitude). I have been thinking about this a lot, how much better I would do if I just OWNED my own life, gave up worrying so much about others for things that really don’t matter to the detriment of myself. I really focused on doing this today, and it really helped. NEED to continue that mindset.

Today, we went on a drive to Mt. Baldy in the San Gabriel Mountains. Again, SO refreshing, and got me out of my funk today and really saved me. I just loved the smell of the pine needles and the mountain air, and thought of home in Colorado and how the mountains are such a part of me, in my bones. I felt ALIVE again, that feeling I covet so much.

Near Mt. Baldy, San Gabriel Mountains

Then we took Ralph to the dog park, our first time there, and that made me SO happy too. He had so much fun!

How do you conquer guilt? Is it a problem for you? It invades my life every day.

When was the last time you breathed that fresh mountain air?

5 thoughts on “Giving up Guilt and Mt. Baldy

  1. I agree that daily life and hustling and bustling and cleaning is a good form of exercise when you aren’t ready/willing/able to do anything more! You should never feel guilty, you should feel PRODUCTIVE!! I guess that’s why I like running… there’s nothing formal about it for me because I only go when I feel like it and I only go as far as I want to at the time. I try to approach it the same way I would watching TV or reading a book. Just another hobby 🙂

    • I love running and I used to do it the exact same way. I called it ‘zen running’…I think I read that somewhere: where you just go out and run and go as far or as hard you want to on any given day. More people should do that!

    • That is SUCH a good point – exactly what my Therapist told me. Everything – napping, sitting, reading, walking – it’s ALL equal. So don’t feel like you have to be moving or doing something to be valuable…so much easier said than done though.

  2. Katie – is that you in the photo? God girl you are stunning…I don’t even have to see your face…

    Thank you so much for sharing these posts. I need to check them out. I’ve wondered about your history with exercise and eating? I’m not too sure…Lord knows mine is quite the tumultous story…and it’s still writing chapters…I wish the book on it would close. 😦

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