Some things you must read that I am thinking a lot about:
- Rachel Wilkerson (LOVE her blog!) and how she stopped formal workouts without becoming unhealthy. I have some interesting thoughts on why this works for a lot of people and how not worrying so much about formal exercise helps me in dealing with my nerve disorder. I really thought about this after I read her post. It’s something that I have gradually come to feeling more comfortable with. The thing is, I LOVE LOVE LOVE to exercise, no joke. But I also realize that using exercise as my only coping skill for my anxiety has been too hard on my body in the past. And also, now that I can’t do that much formal exercise, I feel upset about it all the time in the sense that I miss something I love, but I also worry all the time that the limitations will affect my body and that affects my body image and leads to problems and worries about that. So over the years and months since the onset of my nerve disorder, I have had to come to see how much activity you can get in a day bustling around cleaning and stuff, and also that my gentle workouts are good for me and that they are enough, they don’t mean I am lazy or even unhealthy. My swims and short walks are what are right for me right now. I love them and I want to enjoy them. I just like that word gentle. I do wish I could work out harder a lot, but it’s not terrible what I can do, it’s good for me. And I listen to myself.
- And even better, her post on how much healthier she is doing since she gave up feeling guilty about every little thing (her “sorry, I’m not sorry” attitude). I have been thinking about this a lot, how much better I would do if I just OWNED my own life, gave up worrying so much about others for things that really don’t matter to the detriment of myself. I really focused on doing this today, and it really helped. NEED to continue that mindset.
Today, we went on a drive to Mt. Baldy in the San Gabriel Mountains. Again, SO refreshing, and got me out of my funk today and really saved me. I just loved the smell of the pine needles and the mountain air, and thought of home in Colorado and how the mountains are such a part of me, in my bones. I felt ALIVE again, that feeling I covet so much.
Then we took Ralph to the dog park, our first time there, and that made me SO happy too. He had so much fun!
How do you conquer guilt? Is it a problem for you? It invades my life every day.
When was the last time you breathed that fresh mountain air?