Why I Love…and how much of a leap is my life worth to me?

Why I Love…The Women’s World Cup: It’s the 2011 FIFA Women’s World Cup in Germany. I have been watching the World Cup semifinals all morning. The USA had an amazing win over France. And now Japan is playing Sweden in the second game. I can’t believe I really only started following this now. I played soccer most of my life, from age 5 through high school and through part of college.I actually haven’t played since college. I miss it, I miss how hard I played. It seems so long ago now though. I think soccer is the greatest women’s sport.

Why I Love…B: okay there are 1 million reasons, but one is that he’s full of great quotes. He works nights, so every night I leave him a note to find when he gets home at four in the morning, and he leaves me wanting to find when I wake up. His notes always make me feel so strong and full of hope. Last night he said, “Remember that every day you get through is the day you made it in a day closer to fully healing.”

Why I Love…Ralph: He is SO cute, and he’s my little buddy and companion. He follows me everywhere and he loves me so much. I feel like I’m really his mom. 😉

I also love science/medicine. I have my meeting with the nursing school tomorrow. B said he is proud of me for setting it up. Before I go (hoping to do this tonight) I have to: research the school more online, write out my questions, and print my unofficial undergraduate transcripts.

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Weather Report: Continuing great weather! 78* today, then 79* Thurs, 80* Fri, 83* Sat, 90* Sun. Loving being outside today, having the windows open, reading on our deck, and the lovely  breeze coming into the apartment

Today in the Daily Word: “I have no reason to feel out of control as there look forward to the next few hours or days.” I don’t know why I have this huge fear of the time stretching before me and how to fill it. But I do. And often that fear destroys me. I don’t want it to destroy me today. I can take each moment as it calms and have a plan. I have something to look forward to tomorrow – the nursing school meeting. That is taking a step forward.

Once I find out how many classes I can get credit for, I really want to go forward with this if I can. I keep asking myself,‘ How much is my life worth?’

How much of a leap is my life worth to me?

What I mean by that is: I am always worrying about the loan/financial part of school. But when I really think about it, my life is worth that money. If I had to spend $50,000 to save my life I would do it. And that’s basically what this is to me. I don’t know the exact amount yet, I really don’t have any idea right now, but my life is worth that to me. I literally feel like I won’t make it in with I have something of my own like this. The relief, happiness, and purpose I will feel having a career I love is worth that amount of money. To me it’s the same difference of taking out those loans as it would be to pay a lump sum for ransom my own life if that was the question to be considered. I also often have to think, “What would I do if it was only me? If I was the only one here, if I didn’t have all these other people to think about?” I feel like if it was only me, I wouldn’t have anything to lose and I would also go for it for that reason. Because it will save me, because I can be excited about something. I don’t know, that’s just how I feel. That gives me strength somehow. It shows me the right thing to do.


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2 thoughts on “Why I Love…and how much of a leap is my life worth to me?

  1. Why you love B…so sweet. And really? Do what you need to do before you have kids because suddenly your priorities really shift and it’s never about you again. Take your time and go to school and be happy! That’s my mom-advice of the day. 🙂

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