On following through

I am a person who needs lots of repetition, reciting goals, repeating my plan for the day, repeating affirmations. I obsessively think about things sometimes and am easily overwhelmed and can’t keep my thoughts straight, but one thing that really works for me is to write things down. Multiple times a week, I need to write down my career path plan, again and again, usually when I feel worthless or I forget that I have to do it step-by-step. It helps to write the steps down. Last night I really had a panic about not feeling like I am working on anything again. I think I upset B with my lack of self-worth because he thinks I DO work hard and appreciates so much all of my cleaning, cooking, organizing around the house. But I sometimes feel like other people just don’t understand and that is hard.

So I just have to review my writing and PA school plans today, and think about what to do about the jobs I applied for (just wait it out for one and make a phone call for the other). I need to KEEP reviewing those plans when I feel anxious and just keeping working. It’s so hard to believe when there aren’t any tangible results yet.

I guess my goals for today are to finish my short story and write another article. And I hope believe in myself enough to sign up for a Sociology class. Just formulate my plan, again, and make worth out of it today. I need to follow through. Especially the short story will help. And maybe a few pages on my book. I have two projects going on. I want to work so much but I get frustrated about typing and my arms still, even though they are doing better. I just have to be thankful I can dictate and navigate around with the mouse a little bit. And do some brainstorming on paper for the 1920’s story.

Also, I always keep a pile of notecards on my ‘desk’ (aka dining room table) to write down my plan for the day and sometimes affirmations.

I write my plan for the day down multiple times if I get anxious, a mix of walks, relax time, and writing time (and cleaning time if needed).

My poor puppy is pooped because he had to go to the vet today to get his first shots. He cried SO hard! Poor little guy.

Like Ralph, remember to play hard and rest (sleep) hard today! 🙂

 

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4 thoughts on “On following through

  1. Katie, you are such an amazing person. You are doing so much! So much just by THINKING about it. Okay? So please don’t be hard on yourself. You are so incredibly smart and talented – so wise to formulate a plan and write out goals…

    I just was thinking about this when I went for a walk – how I don’t ever set goals or make plans…no wonder I feel so lost…but truthfully, it scares me because I don’t know what I want really. I say I want to be a writer…but write what?? At least you are writing stories! I write a few freelance articles on the side when I’m not working full-time…and that’s not the writing I always want to do. Not to mention it gives me no time to explore my own writing – but I choose the freelance because of the extra money.

    Listen to me – God I’m selfish – talking about myself. Blech.

    I love your new header too! I have to read back – did you decide on garden or mountains?!

    • Oh, mountains! 🙂 But we are still deciding on a date so it’s not all finalized yet. Have to decide by tomorrow or so!

      Hang in there deciding what you want. Did you ever check out any of those short story contests? That what I am doing and it really, really helps to have a ‘deadline’…it IS so hard though, because I don’t see any tangible results coming my way like I said. Thank you so much for your kind words always.

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