Going down to San Diego today. Will be nice to get away with B. I hope its refreshing and helps me keep perspective. Also, going to get this puppy at 1pm at the shelter…if someone doesn’t steal him again first!
I had a big disappointment last night, disappointment in myself.it was so unnecessary and I’m really discouraged by it. I am trying to pick up and carry on this morning, because I want that to be over, I want to be stronger.I have all of the schools, and it’s okay to fail at somethings. But it’s not okay with me to fail as often as I do with this thing. Sometimes it seems inevitable that I have to give into it, but the times when I could fight harder but don’t are what really gets me. Last night was like. I could have kept going and would have been so proud of myself today. I just want to end up using todayitself as a day to feel proud of myself, then we can use a good weekend. I can give myself a treat on Sunday, and then work hard next week.
Maybe it will help to have a dog. I want to have a plan, something I do each time first before giving in. I want that to be petting my dog. Then going on a walk. Then taking a bath. Before I do anything stupid.
this really sucks. I feel so gross today. When happens I feel hopeless and self-esteem plummets. I want to remember that when I don’t to that, I at least feel proud of myself.