If you could not fail

I had a wonderful weekend (considering Thurs-Sat my weekend). Especially Saturday when we got to go to Pasadena again (aka my favorite place on Earth) to a friend’s birthday party and made lots of new friends, which is awesome. A lot of them live out east over here so hopefully we can hang out. B said he was so worried about making friends here. I laughed when he said that because I wasn’t at all. That guy makes friends, GOOD friends, everywhere he goes. I knew he would make more here for the both of us. 😉

Then a horrrrrible day yesterday (Sunday). Somehow, it just passed today. Trying to look at the bright side about it, I felt really close to God yesterday and while I still don’t understand why we are on planet Earth, it gave me some clarity of thought about what I want and need. I am still very scared, but I have to just keep setting things up.

Working on that list of what I need. We never had time to go look at dogs last week. So that is the big thing for this coming weekend. B felt so bad about it. He is so good to me. He ordered me a Dragon dictation program.

And I applied to a job I really want last Wednesday. No idea how I would get there but I applied.

Also decided I AM applying to PA school. I have to. There is a paper weight we have on the counter here that says, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”. The other day I just walked by it and ‘apply to PA school’ immediately jumped into my head. That told me something. The thing is, I can’t really fail at applying. I could fail at getting in, I could fail at completing the program, but I can’t fail at applying. I CAN do that. And I will.

I just have so many things I want to do that my head starts spinning and my anxiety gets out of control. I have to just keep making a schedule for the day. And following the meal plan I made for myself. And being patient with both of those things.

I read this article last night, called “Do You Really Want What you Want?” The most important thing I got out of it: the only way anyone gets anywhere with anything is by making a plan, setting up a timeline and schedule, and just doing it. The author is talking about writing and making a writing program for yourself.

Random: I am so tan. And I love it. 😉 California sunshine!

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “If you could not fail

  1. Sorry about the bad day… But it’s so exciting about the applications! It feels so much better to fail at DOING something than to fail/not fail because you’re not doing anything… (besides, we shouldn’t even call it “failing”, maybe just “another thing to tick off on our list of experiences” or something instead 😉 )
    Risktaking is scary (am working on it myself) but at least we get something out of the process even though it doesn’t work out 🙂

  2. I’m so happy for you! PA school sounds like an amazing plan. New things are always so scary but if your heart is in it then nothing else matters.

    Pasadena is beautiful! It’s just SO far from me so I rarely get out there. Definitely check out the Roy’s they have out there. I love it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s