Beautiful Heart: The Next Chapter

The weather is beautiful here today in sunny Denver, 64*.

And life feels beautiful today too! 🙂 ❤ I feel suddenly so much more like an adult, on my way to things. And that feels great.

I actually had a really hard day yesterday with anxiety and irritability –  worrying about if I will EVER get a job/get my career started. That is a fear that keeps coming up on bad days.

But I had a good night of sleep (always does wonders!) and I am going to look at our trip this week to California as the first step in setting up my new life. I have this thought running through my head, very often, about, “what am I accomplishing? what am I accomplishing?!” and it really sucks. But I want to be in the present moment this week. I AM going to accomplish something! The first step is finding the right apartment/townhouse for us, so we can set up our home and move there. This IS a necessary step, and I should enjoy it and look at it that way, as a good step and as an accomplishment.

There are STEPS to where I want to be. I have to break it down and do them one by one.

  1. The first step is finding our home and then moving. Remember that, self!
  2. I just have to breathe and then do the next step after that. This next step is finding a volunteer job out of the house (I am planning to continue my online work there for the Denver rescue as well), and signing up for my French class.
  3. I will continue applying for jobs. I really want to find the RIGHT job for me, working with animals. I would LOVE right now to have a transitional job as a receptionist in a vet clinic.
  4. Then, and meanwhile, I will take the one class I need for a pre-requisite (hopefully this summer, fall at the latest) and apply to PA school.

I started thinking about this today when Caitlin @ Healthy Tipping Point asked readers to tell her their life plan for the next few years. I think about this a lot, but it feels good today to write that down. What I am afraid of is this: I will be okay not getting into PA school at first if I have a job, any job. But what if I don’t have a job OR get in? I don’t know if I can handle that, I don’t know if I can continue being this bored and unfulfilled and not knowing when it will end.

I hope, hope that it will be okay. And I am excited about this FIRST step at least, and I know I can do the second one and accumulate positives and be busier in my life. Just trying to do that ABC skill right now (Accumulate Positives, Build Mastery, Cope Ahead) – to gain confidence and enjoy life more!

I am just SO excited to be engaged, and to get to plan together for the here-and-now, and for the future! ❤


11 thoughts on “Beautiful Heart: The Next Chapter

  1. You are so right about taking it one step at a time. Take it slow and think babysteps! If you try to do more, you will get flustered and overwhelmed. Step 1 needs about 20 steps listed under that one alone!

    Just when I think I have my bases covered and figured out, something else comes up that I hadn’t thought about. You have to be able to flex and shift and expect the unexpected. Just focus on getting there to CA then everything will workout. Trust me I wish I could plan everything too, but some things just have to ‘fall into place.’ I think the biggest thing is just to not over do it.

    Looking for a house is both stressful AND fun! We have a couple of apartments narrowed down so far. It’s hard when you only have online photos to look at. We’ll stay there while we look for a house. I do worry about finding a job, but like I said before, I’m just trying to get there. The rest will work itself out. Waaaaaaaay easier said than done, I know. 🙂

  2. Engaged!! Congratulations! That is so exciting! And a move to California. I was gone for two days being geeky and I missed all the news! Congratulations again!!!

  3. A belated congratulations on your engagement and all the wonderful things you have lined up for your future!

    As you know, I am in California so if you need any help finding a good area or scouting places let me know! I am thrilled for you my friend!

    • Thanks Ameena! We are in the Inland Empire right now scouting out places so if you would recommend anything over here, let me know. I know there are a lot of bad areas but have seen some nice places too, it’s back and forth. 🙂

  4. Congrats on the engagment! That is so exciting. I was reading your “about me” and your fiance is in Afganhistan? How is that going? My boy leaves for there next March. Im terrified. What area of the military is your fiance in?

    • Thanks for the congrats! My fiance actually just returned home from his deployment in January, about two months ago. I won’t lie…his deployment was the hardest year of my life. I had a really hard time. But if you guys communicate well and you take care of yourself too, it will all be okay. 🙂 He was a 1st Lt in the transportation corps. They mainly ran convoys over there.

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