Good thinking, Bad thinking, and Hugh Hefner

It seems from the comments yesterday, that everyone is excited for me. And B is so excited. And I should be too! So I am, so much.

But do you ever feel like you are excited for the future, but at the same time terrified of the very immediate present. Like the present right now. Like sometimes, often, in the last year, I have been very afraid that I will destroy myself or my mind will break down before I can even GET to this future I am excited about. So I am not hopeless, just afraid in the now. Does anyone else ever feel like that?

Right now, I am writing to try to take the advice of baking n’ books today and focus on the things I did RIGHT, not WRONG. You see, I have been having some eating problems the last couple days, and right now I am just trying to ‘sit’ with what I just ate, focus on how while I ate when I wasn’t really hungry, and probably will feel sick tomorrow (my big triggering phobia), I do have the power to stop right now and just let it be, and move on without making things worse. I am so afraid of feeling sick tomorrow though; I don’t know how I am going to handle that in the morning. I wish I wouldn’t have done this. I need to be strong tomorrow. I just need to get back on track ONE day and I know I can keep it and start using my skills again. Afraid of the present and immediate future (ie. tomorrow); that’s what I was talking about.

Okay, to the title…Hef, as in Hugh Hefner.

I just finished watching a documentary right now on netflix online called “Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist, and Rebel”.

 {If you don’t have netflix, you need it…I love the ‘watch instantly’ online feature, unlimited! They have a lot of good documentaries on there…great escape 😉 }.

Very interesting. Wanted to share some thoughts. It is a biography about him, but also a lot of discussion on the social impact of Hef and Playboy, not just sexuality-wise, but on race relations and many other things.

Have you ever read Playboy? The first time I read it, in college at a guy friend’s house, it was not what I expected. I expected just naked pictures, basically. But there were a lot of articles and interviews. I thought it was pretty funny, clever even. I am not Playboy’s biggest fan or anything, just saying it’s not what I expected. Anyway, there was a lot in the documentary about the interviews, on film (he had two shows: Playboy After Dark and Playboy Penthouse) and in the magazine, he did that promoted the civil rights movement and political things. He had a big focus on this in his personal life as well. He even had feminists on his show, plus civil rights activitists, and a lot more. He is a perfectionist and a workaholic.

Hef’s aim, in his words, was to free society from rules and laws about sex. I think he did that in a lot of ways. I wanted to ask him was if he thought he did that for women. It’s an interesting thing to ponder. He talked about how one of his team’s causes was women’s reproductive rights: birth control (when in many states, contraceptives were not legal), and access to safe abortion. When attacked by feminist’s in the 70’s for objectifying women, he said that women are sex objects but in a positive way: they are so much more than sex objects, but attraction between the sexes is the basis of the human race. He just thinks they are beautiful and wanted sexuality itself to get to come out of the closet.

Jenny McCarthy also said something that made me think: that the feminists started this great thing, but then they got kind of close-minded. I think that is kind of true. I think of my mom this way sometimes, as having something I call contradictory feminism (another post to come on that). She is such a proponent of not objectifying or judging women, that she ends up judging women anyway, just in a round-about way, judging models, cheerleaders, women who get plastic surgery, women for many other things. It’s just another way of saying women have to be a certain way in my opinion. Judging is judging. I don’t know, I can see both sides at different times. 🙂

Funny, he seems like such a nice guy. Anyone who has met him only has good things to say about him. I actually used to love watching “The Girls Next Door” (first group of girls only, after that it was bad).

One of his quotes was something like, “I think we are more apt to have a truly monogamous society if we come to grips with our true sexuality.”

This made me think about how throughout history, as things changed, often talked about the degradation of morals in our society. I don’t think our morals have degraded. Well, I think PUBLICLY maybe they have, but privately they haven’t as much as people think. People always talk about the high divorce rate. I bet if you took a poll (no idea how to make this totally accurate) of people who were happy in their marriage years ago when divorce was taboo and now, the numbers would be about the same. People back then just didn’t leave their unhappy marriage. They either cheated or suffered along. So I think the percentage of happy marriages, marriages that would have worked whether or not divorce was acceptable in society, would be about the same.

Yeah, I am rambling. I think a lot. Sometimes it’s good, like this, and I learn. Sometimes it’s bad, like what I talked about in the beginning of this post – too much thinking making me afraid of myself, of my actions, of everything.

  • Do you like to watch documentaries? What’s the best one you have watched lately? I would recommend this one. Interesting. For better or worse, an influential guy. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist, said she thinks it is sad that he mixed up his work mission with his personal life because then people don’t take him and what he has contributed to seriously. Yes, this is true. But it is what it is.

5 thoughts on “Good thinking, Bad thinking, and Hugh Hefner

  1. Thank you so much sweetheart. I’m so glad some people got something out of that post…I always panic and feel like I should delete it after I write it…but this makes it worth it.

    I fear the same as you. That I will be sick (and I always am) – and then it’s worse though – because I HAVE to go to work and be around others and focus…which is horrible when you feel like sh*t – literally…

    Hugh? Don’t watch him 😉

    • Haha, don’t know why I did this long review on that, but just like documentaries I guess. They can be so skewed though, I don’t think people realize that sometimes.

      Yes, I did get something out of your posts, I do out of many posts!

  2. I love documentaries. I will check this out! 🙂 I am definitely guilty of overanalyzing though. I think I am kind of influenced by the phd so I instinctively look for both sides of an argument and I always see the flaws and weak points of a paper… I mean a film, a book a whatever. Yep. I am the party pooper like that! 😛

  3. I’m not big on docos – I guess my favourite ones are about PEOPLE – interesting figures, bands, etc.

    I’ve never read Playboy or any of those magazines. How much “content” is there in proportion to pics?

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