Rose-colored glasses

According to thefreedictionary,” if someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-coloured glasses, they think it is more pleasant than it really is”. This is most often used as “seeing the past with rose-colored glasses”.

I think this is human nature, at least for me and anyone else I have ever discussed this with.

Why, when we look back, does that hard time not seem as bad? Looking back, we tend to forget, not totally but in intensity, the bad things and let the good things stand out more. I know a time was really bad when I look back and it still seems bad. I thought that about about when I lived in Tennessee and was consumed with many things. But, strangely, as time goes on, even THAT fades more and more. I just remember fondly the good things…running, dinners and wine with my boyfriend in our apartment, Vanderbilt University’s campus.

In this article, it says that our reflections being positive or negative depend on our mood in THIS moment.

I think that is true. I think I am experiencing that right now as I write this. But I also think the overall principle is that we look back and focus on the good things with fondness, while in the present moment it is so tempting to focus on the small things that are hard.

Maybe by becoming aware of this, we can enjoy the present moment more. Both by realizing we need to focus on the good things NOW, and by erasing some of our feelings of fear through knowing that when we look back, we will know we got through this and it was hard but not as hard as we thought at the time. This comforts me often when I am really scared and really FRUSTRATED about how long my current hard time is going on.

It also gives perspective. I can look back and say, ‘that sucked!’…but at least I am out of it now and ‘such and such’ is better now, even if other things are hard.

POINT: Maybe it’s not that we block out the hard things….maybe they really WEREN’T as hard as we thought. We were just so caught up in focusing on the negatives at that time, that we couldn’t see that. But looking back, we CAN see it.

My aunt told me over and over when I stayed with her in Montana in November that your 20’s are the hardest time of your life. Everything is unsettled, you are figuring everything out and just starting out on your own. My dad says this too. I am going to believe this is true and that this is just a setting up period. Faith is all we have, and I really do have faith in that.

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4 thoughts on “Rose-colored glasses

  1. I absolutely agree with your aunt that your 20’s are the hardest time in your life. Now that I am 35 I hate the number! But I have to say that I am so much more well-adjusted and happier than I have ever been. I hope you know that you will look back on events in your 20’s and wonder why they bothered you so much…just as I have!

  2. I really hope your uncle is right and we are going to get better and stronger on the other side of this decade! I think that making the past look better is also a coping mechanism. I know that if I remembered the bad things more vividly, I would just want to sit down and do nothing. Not a really good approach in my book…

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