It’s okay to want to be attractive…

So, this post is going to be exactly about what the title says…how IT’S OKAY to want to be attractive!

Ironically, I was thinking about writing this post all during my swim today, and then I read a short paragraph on G(r)eek Melie’s post today about something similar – kind of how to mesh healthy and wanting to be attractive. At least that was my interpretation of it.

Anyway, here goes…

Being attracted to someone and wanting to be attractive are part of human nature, biologically and evolutionarily. How else would we reproduce and continue the human race?! Certain things are more attractive to us innately. Certain cultures value certain things; individual people value certain things. I realize these values have a lot to do with “nurture” and what we learn in our society, but they also have a biological basis.

I feel like I read more and more lately things that make me think that the world gets caught up in promoting self-esteem so much that we start feeling guilty for wanting to be attractive. I know I feel like this sometimes, especially when I am around other women that I perceive have more self-esteem than I do. For me, this especially pertains to my sisters, who roll their eyes when I obsessively check my hair in the mirror. Yes, I shouldn’t be obsessed with looking at my hair, but I shouldn’t have to feel like I am not a “strong” woman if I care about what my hair looks like either.

As long as we listen to ourselves and do it in a healthy way, I think it’s human nature to want to look good and there’s nothing wrong with it! We don’t have to defend the fact that we want to look good.

Bottom line is that we just need to look inside ourselves and find a balance, as in everything. This means finding health and accepting how our bodies naturally are, while also letting go of the guilt or defensiveness about wanting to look our best and perhaps play up our physically attractive qualities.

Does anyone else struggle with this type of “guilt” or a feeling that you need to act like you have more self-esteem than you do sometimes? I think it’s another part of pressure to be the “perfect woman” – like you need to look good AND not care about looking good at the same time…that whole “effortless” perfection thing.

Do I even make sense? Or is this just another example of my weird thinking patterns that I can’t articulate well? 😉


5 thoughts on “It’s okay to want to be attractive…

  1. Well you make perfect sense to me! Of course this doesn’t rule out the possibility that we both have weird thinking patterns! I some times think that this whole “effortless perfection”, except for being completely unrealistic, is kind of hypocritic as well. You obviously care what you look like, so why not own it? And why I don’t have self-esteem if I take pride in the way I look? I like myself just fine in pajamas, it’s just that I don’t want to go around in them all day long (it’s enough that I am in sweaty running shorts most of the day already :-P). Long story short, I totally agree with you! 🙂

  2. Makes sense to me! I wish I had higher self esteem and confidence, but it’s something I’m working on. I used to be SO mad and jealous when my husband would go to Hooters…HOOTERS! I just couldn’t understand how he could do that to me… Then one day I thought long and hard about it and realized how silly it was of me to feel that way. If I were to ask him what he saw when he was there or what his waitress looked like…he wouldn’t even know! He doesn’t care about those girls. I trust him and he comes home to ME. He loves ME…is married to ME, thinks I’M beautiful, etc. So they have a little T and A hanging out, big whoop. Half of them aren’t even attactive anyway! I personally don’t go there, but I couldn’t care less when he goes with his friends. I’m so over that! These days I encourage him to go so he doesn’t drag *me* there…LOL. Sorry I rambled for so long, but point being…yea, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be attractive. Look at the alternative!

    • No worries about rambling. 😉 I agree though, it’s great to strive towards confidence, and almost taking away that part of judging yourself about how you felt about Hooters, letting it be okay you felt that way, then deciding you didn’t care – that is probably what got you that confidence in the first place!

  3. I can totally identify with this post. I think when you feel confident, you feel happier and you are a better person to the world around you. It’s good to be a little vain sometimes! It’s human!

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