Appreciation

The last time I was here was two and a half years ago. All I can remember about that weekend is freaking out about how I was going to run on the trip (as I used to do with all trips).

Where was I going to run?! I panicked about it beforehand, I freaked out the whole 12-hour car ride up there (ok…I would still do that because I hate sitting for a long time), and I left early on a flight home. Where was I going to run, how was I going to run, how could I get a good run in???

I want to say to that old self that always worried about that wherever I went…AND who also whined about how there was no where pretty to run (like where we lived in Tennessee) or no hills (like outside of my parents neighborhood):

I wish you would have looked around. You could have run anywhere you wanted, even if it wasn’t the perfect run. There is a highway out front. You could have WALKED anywhere you wanted – all over the property. You have had gone horseback riding…every day. You could have gotten out your restlessness (and enjoyed a great time) any way you wanted, any time, for however long you wanted.

Now, I wish I could go walk all over the property. I wish SO much I could go horseback riding. I love horses. My aunt’s children were never in to them, and I was always her niece that would ride with her. I realized in the last few years what great exercise riding is. I want to groom them and clean their hooves.

So, wherever you are, don’t get so anxious about exercise. Appreciate that you have so much choice. And in that case, you should choose something you will enjoy. Just appreciate moving in any way you want to.

And to come back around to me. I appreciate that I can still do my arm-swimming and that it feels so refreshing. That there is a hot springs pool semi-close to do it (even if I can’t go today -aaah). That I CAN walk in some way – I am not wheelchair-bound. I just walked outside up and down the driveway for 10 minutes until the pain set in. I can stay in each moment and move when I need to in my little ways and then rest and then repeat. Thank you God for my swimming and little walks. Please let my heart be peaceful today and let me remember I have choices even if they are a little different.

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