Frozen Winterland

North in the Rockies. It’s cold. I feel like I am in a movie when I look outside, like an historical western or something. It’s snowing and windy and just bitterly cold when you step outside. Actually, I have been inside all day today (my aunt’s is very cozy) but last night going into and out of the car was freezing. It’s an interesting experience though. (I have been here before FYI.) I like to travel…and I don’t…obviously. I value the experience later usually. And you learn so much, no matter where you go.

I have had waves back and forth of panic and wanting to go home and being fine. I don’t even want to talk about it because it brings back the panic.

Going to go swimming in the hot springs pool today, that makes me feel better. My aunt is so nice to be willing to take me a lot. I got to see my cousin’s baby yesterday and that was special. He is really cute. My cousin seems sad – she has always been a bit of a pessimistic person. She loves her baby and he makes her so happy. But it’s something I can’t explain.  This is a poor, depressing town. My relatives here are middle class, but there are 80% below the poverty line and really rural.

Talked to B. today. I want to be brave for him. He is so wonderful to me. 🙂

Things move slowly here. My aunt moves at the pace of a snail (as far as getting ready, she is always late) but at the same time kind of whirls around talking and doing projects and just being laid back. I guess it’s kind of good for me? Not to always be concerned with what time it is and what I have to do next. I am trying to stay in the moment. Right now I want them to get ready so she can take my cousin on errands and drop me at the pool and get things going! We have been messing around since 8am and are still in our pajamas! I am getting a little restless, but have been fine until about an hour ago.

I just want to keep peace in my heart.

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