Mentors

Good morning.

Last night I went to a concert with my uncle, some of his friends, and my sister. I didn’t know the band but they were called “The Hold Steady”, I wonder if anyone has heard of them?

I am the kind of person that is open to any genre of music, I don’t really have ‘my’ genre. When people ask me what kind of music I listen to, I say “oh, anything” and they usually think I am weird. But it’s true…it just depends on the band and the song. I like Dire Straits, 80’s ballads (especially because that is my boyfriend’s favorite kind of music and so they remind me of him, haha 🙂 ), Lil’ Wayne, the Eagles, bluegrass, jazz, classical, Johnny Cash, the White Stripes, reggae, you name it. But I am also kind of weird in that I don’t really listen to a lot of music on my own. I never use my iPod for instance, and I rarely go to concerts. But I am trying to listen to more music because I think it’s good for you. 😉

Anyway, my uncle is 42, 17 years older than me, so we are close. He got really drunk and so did his friends and they were quite embarassing. My sister and I, in our 20’s, are supposed to be the wild ones, right?! 😉

Actually, I don’t drink very often, but my sister sure does, lol. I can’t drink beer anymore (my drink of choice) because it’s not gluten-free (yes, I know there are GF beers out there but they are hard to find in bars), so my uncle bought me a glass of white wine. Well, not a glass…a plastic cup. Not a good choice at a concert — it tasted like vinegar and was seriously gone bad!

The band was okay. Really weird kind of music. Almost like the lead singer was reciting poetry the whole time. My sister likes smash poetry and stuff like that so she loved it. I liked that they had a piano in the band, I love that. Not a keyboard, a real piano. So, the whole thing was…interesting. But I had a lot of fun. My uncle is hilarious and I know it was good for him to get out because he is going through a hard divorce (when is divorce not hard?) and is having a really hard time. He is one of the greatest sources of support to me and my mentor.

To be honest, I had several panic attacks yesterday about the concert that led to two binge-purges. I get agoraphobia sometimes in the sense that since I can’t walk, I get so afraid I will get stuck somewhere or that I won’t be able to find a chair and I will be in pain the whole time. I also get some major social anxiety, which is why I don’t go out very much. But we found me a stool to sit on so I was okay. My uncle had promised me that he would make sure I could sit and that is why I agreed to go. Everything turned out fine…why can’t I remember that next time? Everytime I get so worked up about going out, I always b/p or freak out…and it always turned out fine, I usually feel in a BETTER mood when I am around people and laughing and stuff.

Wish I had some pics but I don’t 😦 I REALLY need to get my own camera. I don’t have one at all right now. I borrow my mom’s sometimes. Next time my boyfriend wants to get me a gift (which is often, I am a lucky girl 🙂 ), I am going to ask for a new digital camera. He has an SLR that is awesome, I wish he would have left it with me when he deployed, but I think he uses it there. He takes some really cool pictures in Afghanistan. Maybe I will ask him if I can share them with ya’ll (okay, I lived in Virginia and Tennessee for a year so I feel like I can say ya’ll…no? 🙂 ).

My right arm is still hurting so bad that I can’t sleep and all my anxiety is giving me constant stomach aches so that I threw up again this morning. I am not proud of that but today I am letting myself take some Klonopin and not worry about taking it. I need to figure out something else with a longer-term anti-anxiety drug but I just need a little more time. I am so sensitive to medications. I got a prescription for Cymbalta but I am just holding on to it for now…long story.

What kind of music do you like? Are you like me and don’t identify with any one kind? My favorite song of all time is “Roadrunnin’ ” by Mark Knopfler (from Dire Straits) and Emmylou Harris. I love duets. And it is “our” song, at least to me. It’s about getting through all the roadrunnin’. Just get through it and it will be worth it on the other side. Don’t give up or all the hard times will be in vain. It reminds me of my boyfriend because we have had to spend so much time apart and lived everywhere and flew everywhere to see each other. We always promised, since we found out when he was leaving Colorado to live in Tennessee and start active duty a month after I met him, that we would always fight to be together no matter what. And we always have and I know we always will.

Do you have a “mentor”, someone you really look up to in your life? Who? Why do you look up to them? Mine are my Uncle Dan and my dad. They have both been through some really hard times but have such a great philosophy on life. I don’t really know how to explain it except that they are both really laid-back and always have the right thing to say. They support me in everything I do and never judge me. And they both just have this way of seeing the poignant beauty in life despite the brutally hard stuff that inspires me. Because I am a pessimist and a worrier.

Okay, enough rambling. Have a great day! Answer my questions if you want 😉 I love getting to know more about people!

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3 thoughts on “Mentors

  1. I’m with you. I like mostly everything. Except for stupid country songs from groups like Lonestar!

    I’m glad everything turned out fine and that you had a good time!

  2. I actually like The Hold Steady! I own one of their CD’s. I listen to indie rock/alternative music. Stars and Minus the Bear are two favorites.

    And someone I look up to? Not so much, but I there are people in my life that I know I don’t want to be like.

    • Hey sometimes knowing what you DONT want to be like is just as important!

      I am liking The Hold Steady more now, do you ever go to a concert of a band you don’t know, then go home and get their music downloaded and get more into their songs? I always do that!

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