Okay…I lost and then I lost

Okay…I lost and then I….lost. Last night was really hard and I just couldn’t fight, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I judge negative urges so much and then give in to them as a way to hurt myself.

But today I have done a few things right…DBT SKILLS I HAVE USED:

  • I don’t really know what to label this one, but just connecting with my dogs this morning I felt better. I woke up at 7 but was too scared to leave my room until about 10:30. I opened my door and let in my dogs and just layed with them and let them comfort me. They are so sweet. My golden is named Scotch and she KNOWS when something is wrong with me. My basset is clueless but he provides comic relief! I just pet them while I went over my DBT workbooks and decided I am going to have a skill of the day.
  • Opposite Action: I just wanted to hide in my room but I got up and took my dogs on a walk around the elementary school by my house. I made it around TWO whole times with my new orthotics!
  • Pro’s and Con’s (one of my favorites): I thought about this statement — “Imagine in your mind how good it will feel if you achieve your goals, if you don’t act impulsively.”

I am about to do opposite action again and go swimming. That ALWAYS pulls me out of the darkness of severe depression. I may still feel depressed after, but some hope comes back. A lot of times I don’t go because I punish myself and don’t let myself, but today I deserve it, I am WORTH it! And my family and my boyfriend deserve it to so they don’t have to be hurt by me and worry about me.

Thank you everyone for your comments, I hope I am not too depressing to anyone else and at least am a little bit inspiring (?).

What gets you out of a depressed mood? Obviously for me: exercise (short walks and swimming right now) and being around animals.

If anyone is trained in DBT, what is your favorite skill? I think the ones that help me the most are “pro’s and con’s”, radical acceptance (when I can do it, very hard), and Staying in THIS Moment.


3 thoughts on “Okay…I lost and then I lost

  1. Sorry you had a rough night last night. Thanks for your comment; I decided to go for a run this afternoon, which lifted my spirits. Exercise definitely helps. So do friends, so I’m planning to spend time with mine tonight.

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